There are moments when doubts disappear and suddenly you realize that what you do is not pointless and that your dream may really come true. We experienced such a moment today when one of the participants of the Polish Episcopal Network sent us a link to his text which you can find here in Polish. The text has been to a large degree inspired by his experiences from the Advent retreat of the Polish Episcopal Network . We immediately decided to translate it in order to share this sense that the Holy Spirit is really at work here with our English speaking readers, and especially those who support the Episcopal project in Poland in a variety of ways.
The author of the text at the retreat in Poznan (left)
Many people who read my reflections (which were perhaps more about life than the Bible) wrote to me after the Ecumenical Retreat of [the website] Tezeusz . I would like to express my gratitude for spiritual support and appreciation of my texts. Many of you asked about my search of a spiritual home… This is why I share with you my reflections inspired by what happened during the last few months.
A moment after a moment… Time flows faster and faster and regardless of what we do we cannot hold any second of our earthly journey.
Wrapped in memories of spiritual search, I’m looking at the fruits brought in my life by the Advent retreat of the Polish Episcopal Network, as well as by being in touch with those who organize it and minister in this community.
The theme of the retreat was the quote from the Gospel of John: “And the Word was made flesh”. I wouldn’t like to write a report, but rather to show the true beauty I witnessed and experienced there. The group of brothers and sisters at the retreat was not big. The location – a bit hidden – as though the flame of the roratka in a dark church [in Polish a candle burning at the first Mass celebrated after sunrise in Advent; the name comes from the hymn Rorate Coeli]. The difficulties encountered by the organizers were only a confirmation that it was indeed a work of God.
Already at the very beginning I felt like in the original church, the church of the first Christians. The real one known from history, not the ideal one at all.
We too often idealize the first disciples of Jesus. Peter and Paul were not best friends, but in the name of Jesus they could pursue the common goal. Like Peter and Paul, the participants of the retreat were very different in respect of age, sex, denomination, and, what follows, views of God, the church and the matters of being. Some represented extreme liberalism, some religious conservatism.
Despite many differences all represented their own views and entered into dialogue with one another with mutual respect, ate meals at one table, and, most importantly, were nourished by the Word and the Body of God together.
This experience of being at home brings to my mind the vision of a house located between the Mount of Olives and nearby Jerusalem. It’s the house of Lazarus and his sisters. The house where there is time for prayer and work. We can see there love despite different attitudes of Mary and Martha. A house where the living Jesus is present and it is he who brings about changes in our lives.
Thanks to this retreat and the experience of grace, which it continues to bear as its fruit, I managed to live through one of the most difficult moments of my life… I was grateful to my loved ones for staying with me under the Cross, but most importantly I didn’t condemn the one who made me suffer. Judas too simply had a heart full of paralyzing fear and couldn’t accept love…
Another important aspect of the retreat to me was that no ideals were forced upon us. I felt that the Holy Spirit blew where it willed and once again demonstrated that Divine Logic is often different than our human logic.
Will the Episcopal Church remain my spiritual home? I would like not to answer this question just now. I ask for your prayers, and on my part I will do my best in order to make the decision about my conversion as conscious as possible.
And there is one thing I know for sure!
The Episcopal Church is a house where everyone may find a place for himself or herself! Why?
Because Christ is the foundation of this church, and the pillar of this house is love, windows are made of hope and the roof of faith… The doors? There are none! It is simply open. For why lock yourself in when “God is with us’…!
Thank you very much for your words, Patryk, and we assure you of our prayers and friendship.
Cieszę się, że Patryk się w tym odnalazł i ma się dobrze, lubię i cenię jego teksty, miło wspominam spotkanie podczas rekolekcji, częściowo podzielam ocenę. Powodzenia, miło było ‘usłyszeć ‘parę słów, pozdrowienia z serca, z modlitwą…A.
Zastanawia mnie tylko jedno, skąd się wzięli ci konserwatyści wśród uczestników, ja nie mogę doszukać się nikogo, może nie znam, ale naprawdę nie widzę, jednak ponieważ polubiłam Patryka czepiać się zbytnio nie będę. Każdy jak coś polubi to idealizuje